Hey Y’all! I’m back again! And as we start, continue, restart, etc. our journeys of best self, I want to talk about how we’re really treating ourselves; how we’re talking to ourselves when we’re not at our best. As hard as it may be to believe and no matter how hard we try, we will never be perfect. Let me tell you, accepting that was a very huge pill for me swallow. I’m talking horse pill LOL. If I can be honest, and Y’all are my people so I know I can be, I’ve never loved the body that I live in but my “smarts” and work capabilities have always been areas that I’ve tried to perfect. So the moments that I’ve made mistakes or simply haven’t been at my best, I struggled with being nice to myself.
I can give you hundreds of examples of when I messed up some where. Be it financial mistakes, parenting mistakes, marriage mistakes, work mistakes. I mean, I think you get the point. We all make them and, we all know the saying. . . making mistakes is how we learn blah, blah, blah LOL. But seriously, when I make mistakes, I can’t let it go. I obsess over what I did or said wrong. It eats me alive. I journal in sadness about how I should have done better. I create these unrealistic expectations that nobody can live up to then, I beat myself up when I don’t reach this unachievable goal. Sound familiar to anyone?
I hope this post doesn’t come across as don’t try your best or go out into the world and fuck shit up because that is absolutely not the point I’m trying to make. But when you do fuck up, because you will, how many times are you giving yourself grace? It’s so easy for us support are friends and family when they didn’t make the best choice or are down on themselves. Be real with yourself always, but we also have to afford ourselves support. “You got this, Girl!” “Next time, I’ll try it this way.” “Don’t stress, let’s figure this out.” Let’s create habits on positive self-talk because our mental well-being depends on it.
So, let’s talk.
How often do you really talk nice to yourself? Are you giving yourself the encouragement you need? Or do you beat yourself down for being an imperfect human?
Listen, believe it or not, we can bounce back from anything big or small. I ain’t saying it will be easy. It’ll probably be hard as hell, but I believe the more we fill our heads with negative self-talk, the longer the detour to reaching the goal or doing the thing, or whatever. I’ve had to be reminded damn near daily that perfection is not the goal. I feel like our need to be perfect or to be seen as perfect is what holds us back from being who we’re meant to be. And when we add in the “Damn, I messed up again,” or “Why do I keep doing this to myself,” it stalls us from finding solutions and stunts our personal growth. Negativity weighs you down and will pigeon hold you in a dark place if you let it. Trust me, Y’all, you don’t want to get to that place. Talk to yourself like you would your girlfriend. She deserves your support and your love. Nurture her with kindness and grace because she is so much more than her mistakes. And no matter what, keep going, Y’all. We’ve got this.