Why You Have to Fail

Heyyyyyyy! It’s been such a long time since my last post, but I’m so glad to be back! What a year we’ve been through, right? To say 2020 was a challenging year would be an understatement and now 2021 is acting up already. But we made it and for that, I am grateful. Through it all, I’ve decided not let this pandemic keep me from doing the work to being my best self.

I tend to live in the zone of comfortable, but I came across Sarah Jakes Roberts’ book, Don’t Settle for Safe, and knew I had to read it. Sarah definitely dropped a lot gems within the first few pages, but that should come as no surprise if you’re familiar with her work or follow her on social media. Throughout the book, she shared personal stories, life lessons, and bible stories with an overall message to not let what you’ve been through stop you from what God has planned for you.

It was the chapter about purpose that I felt spoke directly to my soul. She talked about how God put each of us on this earth to fill a gap that only we can fill, and it’s up to us to manifest our purpose. Sarah says that honing in on your purpose will require commitment, focus, and learning to lose. . . all things I’ve struggled with in the past. I know my purpose is in my writing and my desire to help others discover their superpower, but I tend to lack commitment and focus when I’m thrown a curveball.

Learning to lose is probably the most important takeaway for me because losing is tough, and it hits even harder when you lose something that you wanted so bad or lose someone that you loved so much. Yet, you have to be willing to lose in order to gain something better. Those mistakes you made and L’s you took were lessons and road maps to where you’re trying to get to. And yet, comparing yourself to others who’ve achieved goals or reached heights that you’ve yet to climb will continue to hold you back.

My husband and his friends recently started a podcast called The Dock Podcast. He was hesitant to do it because I wanted to start my own podcast. He even bought me all the equipment, but I never got started. Nevertheless, I was excited for him and encouraged him to do the show. So, he made it a priority. After his 12 hour shift, he would drive about 40 minutes to record. Some days he would record for hours, and I wouldn’t see him until the next day. I was so proud of him but y’all, I was also envious. I was envious because here he was making time for something he enjoyed and I wasn’t doing the same. Although I wanted to, I wasn’t writing; I didn’t start my own podcast; I wasn’t doing anything. Literally nothing.

My therapist helped me to understand that you have to have the time, (mental) space, and energy to go after what you want. And at that time, I had none. I was overwhelmed with work, physically exhausted, and mentally drained. She also reminded me that his journey has nothing to do with mine. His successes are not my failures. She helped to me realize that it is my own path to walk and tend to even when it’s difficult to see the light at the end of the tunnel, and especially when it feels like everyone else around me have already reached their destinations. So, remain steadfast in your faith and trust that there will be signs (sometimes glaringly obvious signs) guiding you along the way. Your turn is coming. Just be patient.

So, let’s talk.

Have you allowed your failures and missteps to hold you back from the greatness that lies ahead of you? Are you constantly comparing your journey to others? Or have you gained insight from your mistakes to not only make you a better person but also help you get closer to your goals?

Listen. Growth comes with change and change is uncomfortable. It’s scary and it’s difficult. It’s also necessary. It’s important to have faith in yourself and trust in the process because you will get it wrong and you will sometimes fall. You are building muscle memory and gaining knowledge so that when your purpose and goals are manifested into reality, you will be ready and well-prepared. So stay in your lane, lean in on your experiences, and maintain a keen awareness of those reoccurring themes. Y’all know what I’m talking about. Pull out those lessons and use them to propel you forward.

You got this! Just keep going!

Tiarra 💜