Initially, I planned on blogging about a completely different topic but as I go through things, I think it’s important to talk about them in the moment. In some ways, it’s therapeutic, but mostly it’s because I know someone else is likely going through the same thing. If you follow me on social media, you’ll see a happiness in my pictures, a “glow” that quite a few people told me I had (that means I must not have had this glow before). It started a couple of months before my mommy vacay and before you ask, no, I’m NOT pregnant. I just had a different energy, a more happy and carefree vibe that a lot of close friends and family noticed. I’ll be honest, it felt great too. Well. . . things have changed or as I see it are back to normal.
After having three children, I’d definitely have to say baby girl changed me the most. I loved being pregnant with the boys. It was fun, my physical features didn’t change much, and I only gained a few pounds with both of them. Now Ms. Logan, she was a different story. She put my mind, body, and soul through hell while in the womb, so much so, I barely recognized myself. She was my physical and emotional roller coaster and even after almost three years, I still don’t feel like myself.
Since having her, I’ve struggled with what I would call depression. Having children just doesn’t change your lifestyle, it literally changes you as a person. Although not everyday is a sad or bad day, I’m pretty good at putting up a brave face. I can go days, weeks, and sometimes months in a great space but when I’m in a dark space, everything else is a spiraling domino effect. Crying all the time and panic attacks are pretty much the norm for me these days, so trying to stay motivated on this weight loss journey isn’t always easy.
I mean, losing weight is hard enough without adding other stressors to your life like depression while taking care of your family, right? The ups and downs and can really present a challenge. I’ve stopped and started my journey more times than I can count, but I never give up! Even when I’m not feeling like myself, I’ve learned to recognize and celebrate the small wins to keep me motivated and focused on my goals; for example, when I have a great workout, or when the kids sleep just long enough for me finish my yoga in peace, or especially when the scale finally tips in my favor are a few of my wins.
It also helps that I have people in my corner that get me and help me to find light and positivity even in the darkest places. It can be difficult for others to understand depression and that’s okay, but those people that get you and understand who you are will not let you down. Please don’t be embarrassed or too proud to share your feelings with someone who love and care about your well-being. Please!
So, let’s talk. Do you often feel depressed or just not your best self more times than not? Has it impacted your ability to stay motivated on your journey? Have you shared your feelings with someone you trust?
Listen. If you’re like me and seem to have more sad times than you want to admit, that’s okay! Please don’t feel ashamed. I think the first step is to be honest with yourself about your feelings so that you can figure out how to deal with them. Then, talk about it! You’d be surprised how many people are also dealing with depression. Know that being vulnerable doesn’t make you weak; it makes you strong. And remember, being your best self is not just about the physical. . . it’s a harmony of you mind, body, and soul. Every part is intertwined and needs to be on the same page so that you can feel whole. For me, this journey is so much deeper than just the weight loss. Losing the weight is me shedding the toxins, self-doubt, low self-esteem, endless excuses, and depressive thoughts that weigh me down to prevent me from being my best self. I want you to know that I get you and you’re not alone. So please, keep going. . . because you’re worth it!