Friends: Reason, Season, or Lifetime?

It was difficult for me to make friends when I was growing up because I was so shy.  Thank goodness I had brother who was outgoing and talked to everybody.  He always found a friend who had a sister or cousin that I could play with, but when I went to both high school and college, I was on my own to develop friendships.  I can honestly say that I’ve had some pretty amazing friends in my life. I mean genuine, positive friendships that I valued so much.

Sadly, for me, most of those friendships no longer exist, or we are at least not the friends we once were and probably never will be again. We like and comment on each other’s posts and occasionally invite each other to our events that we may or may not show up to, but that’s it.  It breaks my heart when I think about all the people that meant so much to me that are now just a Facebook memory.  What hurts even more is that the friendship circles that I once belonged to have kept those tight bonds and have even grown closer while I watch from my social media window wondering if there’s any truth to the popular phrase, “Some people come into your life for reason, some for a season, and some for a lifetime.”

I’ve been wanting to get this off of my chest for a long time, but the movie Girls Trip really stirred up a lot of feelings that I had been holding in.  This movie reminded me of my high school and college days with my small group of girls who new me better than anyone.  There was so much love and support between us, no fake or phony friends, just real. It made me wonder if I could ever have that again with my old friends.

I love to see that classmates from my school days have remained friends after all these years, but it does bother me that I can’t say the same.  What happened? Well, life happened.  I moved out of the city and started a career and family making distance an easy excuse for friendships to grow apart.  For some, maybe it was a disagreement that changed the course of our friendships, or maybe it was that neither one of us bothered to pick up the phone to check in or say hello, and for others, I honestly don’t know.

As I roam my personal purgatory of lost friends, I realize that I wasn’t always the best friend and maybe that’s why those friends moved on without me.  There are a few friendships that I really miss even if we ended on bad terms.  It sucks that we can’t share our special moments and be there for each other through our tough times.  Nevertheless, I’m grateful because those friendships were purposeful. Lessons were learned and because of those friendships, I’ve grown as woman and as a better friend. I’ve used those experiences to strengthen the friendships I do have including my 18 year friendship with my best friend. I’ve also developed new, blossoming friendships that are so meaningful and valued added.

Now listen, I don’t want any of my friends, who have majorly impacted my life, to feel slighted in any way because there is no better feeling than being surrounded by positive women who take care of business, uplift each other, and know how to have a great time. I love you all!

So let’s talk. Do you have your own purgatory of lost friends? Do you agree with the reason, season, or lifetime phrase?  If you do, does that mean you wouldn’t want to change your reasons or seasons?

If you believe in the phrase, then you’ve accepted those friendships for what they are for however long they may be or have been apart of your life.  But, if you believe those friendships are so valuable that you want to re-establish them, then what’s holding you back?  What’s been holding me back? Fear that maybe too much time has passed for us to get back on track; not knowing what landed us here in the first place; or just maybe the feeling is not mutual.  But, if the friendship is anything like the Flossy Posse, then there’s no excuse.

Get out of your social media window or friendship purgatory and mend those relationships because just maybe your reason or season is actually your lifetime.

💜 Tiarra

 

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